An Ounce of Prevention

                                          By Angela Huntley
                                      Author of "Call It What It Is"


I am asked quite often, because of the outreach that I do: What can I do to prevent my daughter from falling into the traps of an eating disorder? The following suggestions come to mind, and I thought I would share them with the readers of Mom Connections. (One in five women struggle with an eating disorder or have disordered eating. So its actually quite wise as a mother of daughters, and even sons, to be pro-active in this area instead of re-active.)

The most important item that I stress is that the family be rooted in the Word of God. Know it, follow it, and stress its importance to your children on a regular basis. The Bible is a blueprint for how we should live and view ourselves. The closer we follow it, the healthier our lives are.

Parents should not be preoccupied with their weight, or other peoples. Accept others as they are. Dont let your children overhear you making critical remarks of anothers appearance, and dont overly praise someones physical beauty. A child will easily recognize that the way to get your praise vs. criticism is to resemble what the world deems as beautiful.

When I say not to be critical of others appearance, I am also referring to your own. Dont let your children hear you being critical of your own appearance. First of all, you are their parent. It hurts to hear someone criticize your parent, even if its you doing the criticizing. Secondly, children model their parents behavior. If you are critical of yourself, they will deduct that the way to be grown up is to be unaccepting of themselves.

Never be critical of your childs size. I have seen the chubbiest children grow into the lankiest teens, and vice versa, just by hitting a growth spurt. Simply let them grow. What do you think will help an overweight child more? Telling them that theyre too fat, or asking them to go for a walk or a bike ride with you?

Do not diet! Do not diet! Do not diet! If Im not being clear enough, at least never let your child know that youre dieting. Diets dont work. They simply set you up to fail, and you will be teaching your child to fail. Model a healthy, active lifestyle. If you need guidance for that, I highly recommend a book entitled The Weigh Down Diet by Gwen Shamblin. The word diet in that title is referring to the actual way that we eat every day. Its not referring to any sort of restrictive plan. Its an amazing tool that will help you realize how God intended for us to eat. Some of us have become so warped by jumping from one diet to the next, that we have lost touch with how were actually supposed to nourish ourselves.

For now, Ill leave you with one last tip: do not rely on a scale. In fact, its not even necessary to own one. If you have a teenage daughter, I would recommend not having one in the home. A scale is irrelevant. When youre overweight, you know it. Your clothes fit differently and the mirror is clear. Scales aid in creating obsession and needless disappointment. Our weight fluctuates so much due to water retention and when our last meal was. Its a shame that people let a silly number dictate their mood and self image.

With all that said, it pretty much boils down to this: teach your child to find value in themselves for who they are, not what they look like. Amen?